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Ryan_Hough
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Name: Ryan
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 10/30/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: I like living in San Francisco. I guess that is a hobby I am fulfilling.
Expertise: Honestly? The HOOKAH. I am THE authority on hookahs.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/22/2003
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| Yesterday I went to see this movie called "The Corporation." A
Canadian movie about the corporations in real power over most
countries. It wasn't as biased as one of Michael Moore's movies,
and represented the facts very well, and suprisingly the people that
were giving commentary or being interviewed were CEOs of these
corporations. Michael Moore was also interviewed, and as expected
every comment he gave was something I really hoped he would say.
For example, he talked about his filmmaking funding by these
corporations, and why would they back someone so politically slanted in
his documentaries? Well, he said that to the corporation he
merely represents dollar signs and revenue because people like to go
see his movies. He said he's part of the rope that these big
businesses are going to hang themselves with. Awesome. The
movie was long, but I was really entertained and I suggest someone out
there find out where its playing in your area and make the effort to go
see it.
I went to the movie with two classmates, Salah and Christine.
They're both in my philosophy class. Salah is a really open
minded liberal-type person, i say that because no one is totally
conservative or liberal. He's pretty smart, when we have
discussions in class he'll bring up a good point and ask the class a
question. They give answers, but they aren't answering his
question, just little explanations all around, and he's forced to ask
his question again, stating that it wasnt answered before. Does
that make sense? Well, its pretty entertaining, because he never
loses sight of his goal in class, although other people's minds forget
what was just said two minutes ago. Christine is a very
attractive asian-american girl, and very bright. I'm glad she
went with us, she's got something to her, I just don't know...
After the movie, on the way to class, we went to In and Out Burger at
the behest of my classmates, so giving in, I just got a burger. I
was hungry goddamnit. We went through the drive thru and ate our
food in the parking lot on my car. Now this is funny, three guys
about my age came over to us, one with a microphone, one with a video
camera, and one that I guess just supervised. They asked if we
would answer some questions about sex. I asked back who they were
with, the replied, a youth group. I said, "well, what is a youth
group? Just friends? What organization are you with?"
They replied it was a St. something-bitch church,
NON-denominational. Like they believe in jesus enough to not go
to hell or something. They asked what I think a sex act is.
I said, being a guy, whenever the penis penetrates the body in any and
all orafaces between any gender. Sorry lesbians, I left you out,
my maleness got in the way of my answer. Then he came at me with
"what if you were in your room with a girl about to do what we think
you might do and jesus showed up in the corner, what would you
do?" I looked in the camera and said "I'd probably do something
worse than I had planned, like slap her, and engage in masochistic
acts, just because he decided to show up, otherwise, I'd probably be a
decent guy." Honestly, I answered all his questions, but always
showing my contempt for the church. Not just theirs, ALL of them,
they're all equally disgusting to me. Shit, I have to go to
work. Peas out.
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| Yesterday I went to an Oakland A's game in Oak-town with my
brother. I got free tickets at work from this one woman who comes
and makes deposits for this funeral home. She has season tickets
to the A's, and she asked if I wanted tickets for a game anytime she
couldn't go, and I said yes. The seats were really fuckin good,
they were seven rows up from first base, really close! They
played the SF Giants, because of interleague play, so the stadium was
packed with bay area fans. A player hit a foul ball and it landed
like 7 or 8 feet away from where I sat, but I didn't want to battle
four drunk guys to get the ball. Anyways, Oakland is a really
nice city, I think. Its across the bay from San Francisco, and
really sunny, not covered in fog like where I live. Its cheaper
than SF, too, so the prospect of living there is quite good for
me. I've heard there are many more younger people living there,
and most areas are geared toward the younger crowd, ie clubs, and
stuff. I hope I can go to another game somtime soon.
Tonight I have my Philosophy class again, and I'm kinda dreading the
homework I have to do before class. I keep putting it off, and
yesterday I totally forgot about it all together. I have to do
some reading and then type up some shit. UGH, I'm so lazy, but so
productive. Its strange to me, because I'm doing all I can
career-wise, but mentally, I'm not doing jack shit. Hmmph.
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| So, today, tonight rather, Thamy is moving back to the
Phillippines. She's rented a car and she'll arrive there within
24 hours. YEAH RIGHT, its a sixteen straight hour flight back to
her home. She called me when I was out visiting PA to let me know
she is moving back. I both felt sad, but I knew she wasn't really
diggin on it out here, she'll be much happier there. Good for
her, I say. So tonight, I'm going to meet her at the airport,
like 10 minutes away, and spend with her the last few hours I will ever
spend with her ever again. That's wierd, isn't it? Its
like, Chris and I will never live down the street from each other ever
again, Bob MacAdoo's Dance Party! will never play another talent show,
or any show for that matter. OK, maybe these examples SUCK, but
chill out, I just woke up. The concept of never, doesn't occur to
me. I just see a parting, nothing more. Maybe that's
wrong. I didn't really feel bad about leaving Lansdale, although
it was my whole life I left back there, I just kinda see these things
as "til next time," even if I know it will never happen again. Am
I being silly? I don't know.
I need a girlfriend, people. The crazy thing is, back in PA I
always had friends and a girlfriend. I would always spend the
most time with the girl, ignoring my friends. I need that out
here! I want someone I can dedicate myself to, and I'll know
she'll be the only one I spend my time with, because I don't have any
friends, sort of. I have friends, but its not like we hang out
all the time, its occasional, and its nothing like Chris. I try
to fill in the Chris gap, when hanging out with others, by doing quirky
little things around these new friends to get them to open up
more. Its my Chris-like behavior, and it really works. I'm
super blunt, but in a funny way, to soften the blow. I do funny
physical things to get people to understand that everyone is a fuckup,
we just need to be comfortable about it. I'll rub my belly, or
talk about my ass hair, or something like that. Its in
everybody's life, they just are too insecure to talk about it.
This is crazy, because I feel like I'm a really cool ass person, one
who can give more in a relationship than recieve. Not necessarily
in a sexual way, you perverts. Like mentally, emotionally, I feel
like I can offer more than any one person on the street. That's
why me and Chris were so good together, we had so much to give from our
personalities, it was mutual. I feel like out here, I kinda do
all the personality work. I admit, I really think people are
intimidated by my strong personality, but I really don't want it to get
in the way of having a meaningful relationship with a girl.
Preferrably Asian. ha.
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| WOW. Comments already. I was trying to categorize this song
on the radio at work for this girl who really likes it. The song
is by "Hoobastank." Its some cutsie little Incubus-type of love
song/ballad. BUT, the way I described it to her was "emo."
She had no idea what I was talking about. You know? Neither
did I. It had been song long since I've even uttered the word
emo, I barely remembered such bands as Now She's Gone, Fairmont, and
the extremely short lived but awesome, Guilt Complex. I start
thinking of Guilt Complex, I remember how happy I was. Chris,
Mike Gaskin, Mike Keevil, Guilt Complex. I loved playing, hanging
out, TALKING to Mike Gaskin. He's like a blackhole of
friendliness, he sucks you in against your will and forces you to have
a good time. I remember the music, my bad drums equipment/ playingm but
most of all, I remember the tightest friendship between all of
us. Of course we ragged on Chris, he's such an easy target.
I know why that is, too. Its not because he's chubby, or balding,
for god's sake, but because there isn't a goddamn thing you can say bad
about him, and it actually having validity. Whenever I talk to
people about Chris, the cycle of things that I hear seems like
clockwork. "He's a guitar guru," "He's got such style," He's so
funny." When people talk shit on him, its always because they're
frustated about his intellect making theirs seem inferior. This
is understandable, though, because Chris has always been years ahead of
me. I dealt with it, because there was so much I see of myself in
him, and so much that I don't, but strive to assimilate into my own
personality. That's what made us friends. Actually, friends
is too general a term. Its way more elevated than that. I
feel like Chris most certainly be the only true person I will ever be
friends with. He's one in a million, a billion, and it both
saddens me to know that, but its makes me grateful as hell that I
actually crossed paths with this needle in a haystack. YEAH, so
Guilt Complex. Did I go on a tangent? EMO. Yes, so i
described this radio ga ga as emo'tional.' It made me think of
how I need to keep a hold of me. Me, meaning my personality, and
my past. I haven't lived for very long, but I see the
inammountable benefits about knowing who I am, and to be me no matter
where or what. All i have is me for the rest of my life.
That is the only constant I think we have. The meaning of life...
Life is meaning. I am alive, and that means a whole fuckin' lot
to me. Everyday I can be extraordinary if I choose so. I
don't think many people can realize that and try to make it
happen. Granted I go about my merry way day in and day out, but I
understand the importance of keeping that mindset. BLAH, I'm
really going far out here. And now because of this entry, I have
missed the conclusion to Iron Chef, and now I'll never know the outcome
of the Clam Battle. See that? Deep talk followed by a wake
up, eventually molding into humor. Bedtime soon! peas.
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| I haven't updated in SO long. I've heard numerous times that I
should start posting again, so I guess I will. The thing stopping
me from posting, and this happens to me alot in many other situations,
is that I haven't done it in a while, so I kinda feel stupid about just
abruptly posting out of thin air. I have thought about posting
many many times, but I kinda feel wierd when people talk to me about my
xanga site. Its not a bad thing, but these are just my
thoughts. I guess its a way to validate that I'm actually having
a life out here. I think I am.
Thamy called me when I was out visiting PA. We hadn't talked in
nearly 2 months, if you can believe that. I'm like the flakiest
person I know. I only want friends when its convenient for
me. So, she called to inform me that she's moving back to the
Phillippines. I was shocked, yet relieved, because I knew she
didn't like it here. Its REALLY hard to move to another country
with no friends, and starting from step 1 all over again. It
wasn't as hard for me, but I know how she feels to a degree. I
need a girlfriend.
I put my picture on Hot or Not.com My brother and I have been
going on there and making fun of the nasty girls and giving the hot
chicks 10s. Sounds kind of dumb, but it makes for great
entertainment, I swear... FUCK. Anyways, my picture started out
with a 1. I was so excited. I'm not even sure what kind of
guys put their picture on this site, so I figured they were pretty much
hotter than me. Well, now my picture is at a 9.1 out of 10.
I think I'm gonna remove it, though, I know how hot I am. This is
what happens to me when I'm bored.
I have to prepare for work. I hope someone read this!
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